The holiday season tends to be full of food focused events. Stress and anxiety circle around encountering certain types and quantities of food, gaining weight, worrying about how to handle comments about body image and what the person is eating, and the disruption of routines and structured meal plans. Feelings of guilt, shame and fear can be overwhelming and isolating.
Whether suffering from eating disorders or in eating disorder recovery, it is important to adopt a strategy to remove attention from the eating disorder and joyfully engage with family and friends.
Here are 10 tips and tools to help navigate and enjoy the holiday season:
Don’t let the negative inner voice win. We all have that negative inner voice that likes to help us predict what others are thinking or might say and it also invokes us to judge situations or more specifically—food. Write a list of the thoughts or triggers and with each one write down a pro-recovery response. Examples include: “that’s a lie”, “stop reading minds”, “food of all kinds nourishes my body”, “food isn’t my enemy, my negative thoughts are”. Creating a dialog with the inner voice will become a habit over time.
Reframe your thoughts around food. Reframing your thoughts means changing what you have come to think about something—usually from the negative to the positive. It is not rude to not finish eating everything on your plate. You are allowed to feel satisfaction from eating. Food provides nutrients. Holiday foods connect us to our culture, heritage, traditions, and loved ones. Holiday foods are not “unhealthy”—feeling guilt, shame, and anxiety about eating is actually more harmful that the foods themselves.
Plan ahead. Plan what activities you will be attending and participating in (reducing the number of scheduled events may help reduce anxiety). Decide ahead of time when you are arriving and when you will be leaving. Have a go-to person in mind to take breaks with so you don’t isolate. Make a list of topics to help you keep conversations going. Help plan activities that may take focus off food, such as playing games, watching a family favorite movie, or taking a drive to admire neighborhood Christmas lights.
Find a person. At the event or party, find someone you find easy to talk to or who is comfortable sitting without the pressure of talking and who is not critical of food or body images. When discomfort sets in or conversations are difficult with others, find that person. Engage in conversation or even ask them to take a break with you. (This is a good time to use that list of topics you prepared ahead of time.)
Plan food options & serving sizes. This is a good thing to do ahead of time with your registered dietitian. They can help you make wise decisions and help you discern fact from fiction when your inner voice starts talking.
Limit time at the table. Make one plate of food. When you are finished, put down your fork, remove your plate or cover it with your napkin. Tell yourself you are done until the next meal. Consider removing yourself from the table after a hour. If you wish you had eaten other things that were not on your plate during the meal, ask for a doggy bag. Then, make that your next snack or meal. Tell your inner voice you do not have to eat everything, because it will be there for your to enjoy later—when your body can use it for nourishment and really enjoy it.
Avoid drugs and alcohol. Drugs and alcohol are two setback triggers. They are used as a coping mechanism in social settings when you may be uncomfortable. And they may bring temporary relief, but do more harm than good. Drugs and alcohol lead to increased symptoms of anxiety and depression, and can change your appetite and eating routines. If you know alcohol will be served at a gathering, plan ahead and bring your own drinks—your favorite soda or a holiday “mocktail” (cocktail sans alcohol) to share.
Set healthy boundaries. Asking family or friends to avoid having diet-related conversations with or around you or setting a specific time to leave dinner or parties before it becomes too tiring are good boundary setting practices. These are helpful in avoiding triggers and minimize distress if the triggers arise in conversations and meals.
Practice gratitude. The holidays are a good time to reflect on everything you are thankful for, rejoice in how far you have come and recognize the small day-to-day successes.
Decompress with some self-care. Self-care is healthy and reduces stress before and after holiday events. Here are some simple self-care ideas to try:
Snuggling with pets or babies
Make a list of things you are grateful for
Meditation and prayer
Yoga
Reading and journaling
Listening to music, a podcast, or an audio book
Lighting scented candles
Taking a bath or shower
Doing a puzzle or playing a game
Note for loved ones:
When we have a loved one suffering, we want to help, but we often don’t know how and we don’t know what to say. Here are some ways you can be there for them:
Avoid taking on the “food police” role unless a treatment team has given you a plan to monitor and portion their food.
Ask specifically how you can help them cope with stressors.
If they aren’t yet comfortable eating or celebrating in front of others, support them by letting them know you understand and are there for them. Offer them a chance to “escape” for a few moments.
Plan other activities that are not food focused.
Be aware of comments you make about diet and body image.
Conclusion:
Take one step at a time. Build a coping strategy to stabilize thoughts and behaviors based around the disorder—move toward feeling empowered to show up and connect with loved ones. Remember arming yourself with a care team in your recovery journey is key. Consider employing a team of professionals to include a registered dietitian, a therapist, and a physician.
ARE YOU SEEKING SUPPORT IN YOUR EATING DISORDER JOURNEY?
Harvest Counseling & Wellness is a Mental Health Counseling & Wellness Practice in Argyle, Texas. Our team includes a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist who specializes in eating disorders and Licensed Therapists to help you in your journey. We provide support and counseling for children, teens, adults, and families struggling with issues related to eating disorders, disordered eating, anxiety, depression, bulimia, anorexia nervosa, ARFID, and more. Our office is located near Denton, Highland Village, Flower Mound, Lantana, Roanoke, and Justin. If you are looking for an eating disorder specialist or therapist in Denton or surrounding areas, contact us today for a complimentary phone consultation, 940-294-7061.
